Most couples feel confident about how they communicate around money. Fidelity’s 2024 Couples & Money Study found that nearly 9 in 10 couples say they communicate well or very well about finances, and many report making important financial decisions together.¹
Yet money remains one of the most common sources of tension in long-term partnerships. While many couples report feeling aligned, a meaningful number still experience recurring disagreements, stress, or avoidance as financial decisions become more complex or emotionally charged.¹
Money decisions are rarely just about numbers.
Different Backgrounds, Different Assumptions
Each partner brings their own financial history into the relationship. How money was handled earlier in life, whether it was discussed openly, avoided, or treated as a source of security or stress, often influences attitudes toward spending, saving, and risk.
Even in strong relationships, these differences are not always fully understood. Fidelity’s related research notes that more than one-third of spouses do not know what their partner earns, and many couples disagree about how much they need to save for long-term goals.2
These gaps often reflect deeper differences in assumptions and expectations. What feels responsible to one partner may feel overly restrictive or unnecessary to the other. These differences are rarely about right or wrong, but they can quietly drive misunderstandings if left unaddressed.
Managing Financial Complexity as a Shared System
For many couples, the challenge is no longer simply combining finances. It is managing a growing and increasingly interconnected financial picture together.
Multiple accounts, investment strategies, concentrated positions, business interests, real estate, charitable planning, and estate considerations all introduce layers of complexity that require coordination and clarity. As that complexity grows, so does the impact of each decision.
Choices around investment strategy, tax planning, philanthropy, or legacy planning no longer affect just one individual, but the broader financial system the couple has built together. When roles, expectations, or levels of involvement have not evolved alongside that complexity, even well-established couples can experience frustration and misalignment around money.
Decision-Making Under Stress
Even couples who communicate frequently about money can struggle when decisions feel high-stakes or emotionally charged.
Research suggests that individuals experiencing financial stress are significantly less likely to engage in productive financial conversations with their partner.3 Anticipating conflict or discomfort can lead couples to delay or avoid conversations altogether, reinforcing miscommunication and unmet expectations.
This helps explain why confidence in communication does not always translate into confidence in decision-making.¹ It is not simply whether couples talk about money, but how they navigate decisions when uncertainty, complexity, or pressure are present.
The Role of an Advisor
For couples navigating these dynamics, professional guidance can be an effective resource. An experienced financial advisor can help bridge the gap between expectations and reality. An advisor offers a neutral perspective that can help de-escalate emotionally charged discussions and refocus conversations on shared goals rather than blame or fear.
Differences in financial knowledge can create unintentional imbalances. Advisors can help raise the overall level of understanding, so both partners feel confident participating in decisions that affect their shared financial system. Structured conversations create space for discussions that may not happen organically, while ensuring both partners remain equally engaged.
A formal financial plan provides a clear roadmap that reflects both partners’ priorities. Seeing decisions and trade-offs documented helps transform abstract goals into actionable strategies. By involving both partners consistently, advisors foster transparency and accountability.
Supporting Financial Alignment
At Crestwood, we work alongside couples to bring clarity and perspective to these conversations. Through objective guidance and shared planning, we support confident financial decisions aligned with long-term goals and legacy priorities.
If you would like to explore how these dynamics show up in your own financial decision-making, your Crestwood team is always available to serve as a thoughtful sounding board.
1 2024 Fidelity Investments Couples & Money Study
https://preview.thenewsmarket.com/Previews/FINP/DocumentAssets/660835_v4.pdf
2 Fidelity Learning Center – What Spouses Need to Know
https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/wealth-management-insights/what-spouses-need-to-know
3 Discussing Money With the One You Love: How Financial Stress Influences Couples’ Financial Communication,
Journal of Consumer Psychology, June 15, 2024
https://myscp.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/jcpy.1430
